Energetic Person Essay For College

This is another short response to a fairly elaborate prompt. A similar approach is recommended in which you first identify what you are trying to get across and then delve into the why and how.

 

Again, there is no time for fluff. Be careful that you don’t spend too much space discussing minor details of the event. If you are writing about a law that recently passed, you would want to simply state what it changed and then immediately how that sparked a change in you. You don’t have to explain obvious details about the legislature, for example.

 

Let’s say, for example, that a recent news story broke detailing research that concluded that using reusable water bottles instead of plastic ones would end the climate change crisis. You could write about how you’ve always had a passion for the environment and this article was what pushed you to action. Maybe you decided to start a reusable bottle initiative at your school and petitioned the administration to eliminate use of plastic bottles in favor of reusable options. You could analyze the results and how you learned to lead a movement to make your school more green.

 

Don’t forget to answer every piece of this question. It can be difficult with such a short response, but it is critical to the success of your essay. Syracuse isn’t really trying to determine how well you know current events or how deeply you read the news. They are trying to get a feel for how you react, act, and reflect. Make sure to showcase that.

 

General Reminders

Prompts with low word limits can often be daunting. You need to make sure that every word in your response is absolutely essential to conveying your message. Further, they usually require more planning and editing and a lot less time in the actual writing stage. If you devote time to those parts of the process, you will surely blow away the admissions committee with your wonderfully concise responses!

 

Syracuse University accepts the Common Application. If you need assistance with your Common App essays, you can read through our guide How to Write the Common Application Essays 2017-2018.

 

Would you like more help with any of your schools’ applications or essays? See our other College Essay Prompt Guides and learn about our College Apps Program and Essay Editing Program.

 

Want us to quickly edit your college essay? Submit it to our Rapid Review program, and we’ll get it back to you quickly with comments from our expert team.

by Sophie Herron of Story to College

 

Last Friday we worked on how to identify your Pivot, the key moment or climax of your college essay, as the first step to make sure your essay meets the three requirements of the form: that your college essay needs to be short and energetic, and reveal your character.

 

Today, we’re going to jump right into the next step of revising your essay: The End. We’ll look at the most important dos and don’ts, and 5 techniques you can use in your own essay.

 

We’re working on the end today because:

1. It’s harder to get right than the beginning. Sorry. It just is.

2. Having a good, clear ending helps you write & revise the rest of your story.

3. It’s the last thing an admissions officer will read, so it’s especially important.

 

All right, enough chatter. On to the good stuff.

 

The Most Important Do and Don’t of College Essay Endings

DO: End in the action.

 

End right after your pivot, or key moment. I constantly tell students to end earlier–end right next to your success! (Whatever “success” means, in your particular essay.) Think of the “fade-to-black” in a movie–you want us to end on the high, glowy feeling. End with the robot’s arm lifting, or your call home to celebrate, or your grandma thanking you. Then stop. Leave your reader wanting more! Keep the admissions officer thinking about you.

In fact, that’s why we call successful endings Glows here at Story To College, because that’s exactly how you want your admissions officer to feel. Glowy. Impressed. Moved. Inspired. Don’t ruin the moment.End earlier.

 

DON’T: Summarize.

Here’s your challenge: don’t ever say the point of your essay. Cut every single “that’s when I realized” and “I learned” and “the most important thing was…” Every single one. They’re boring, unconvincing, and doing you no favors.

 

When you tell the reader what to feel, or think, you stop telling a story. And then the reader stops connecting with you. And then they stop caring. Don’t let this happen. Don’t summarize.

 

But if you don’t–how do you end?

5 Ways to Powerfully End Your College Essay

 

1. Dialogue.

Did someone tell you good job, or thank you, or congratulate you? Did you finally speak up, or get something done? Put it in dialogue. It’s a powerful way to end. In fact, it’s an easy revision of those “I learned…” sentences earlier. So you learned to never give up?

 

“Hey mom,” I said into my phone. “Yeah, I’m not coming home right away–I’ve got practice.”

BOOM. Look at that.

2. Action

Here’s a simple example:

I pushed open the door, and stepped inside.

 

Even without context, you can tell this student took a risk and committed to something. It’s all in the actions.

 

3. Description

Maybe you want to end in a mood, or by creating a wider view of things, or by focusing in on a certain important object.

 

The whole robot shuddered as it creaked to life and rolled across the concrete floor. It’s silver arm gently grasped the upturned box, and then, lifted it.

 

There’s some combination here with action, but that’s perfectly fine.

 

4. Go full circle.

Did you talk to someone at the beginning? You might end by talking to them again. Or if you described a certain object, you might mention it again. There are lots of ways to end where you began, and it’s often a really satisfying technique.

 

5. Directly address the college.

Tell them what you’re going to do there, or what you’re excited about. I did this, actually in mine–something like:

 

And that’s why I’m so excited about the Core Curriculum: I’m going to study everything.

This technique breaks the “don’t tell them what your essay is about” rule–but only a little. Be sure to still sound like yourself, and to be very confident in your plans.

That’s all! Be sure to check out “Success Stories” (again, here)  if you haven’t yet for more examples of each of these techniques.

 

Next, we’ll look at beginnings!

 

In the meantime, check out these great resources:

 

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Sophie Herron taught high school English in Houston, Texas, at KIPP Houston High School through Teach For America. Since then, she received her MFA in Poetry from New York University, where she was a Goldwater Fellow, instructor of Creative Writing, and Managing Editor of Washington Square Review, the graduate literary journal. She continues to teach as an instructor at Story To College and as a teaching artist with the Community-Word Project. She is a poet and podcaster.

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